Ayla’s Hair Donation

Our smart, kind and fiercely intelligent eldest child today made one of the biggest sacrifices a three year old can, today, by donating an entire pony tail full of hair to the Little Princess Trust.

Ayla has never been a fan of the hairbrush so occasionally I’ll forget my attachment parenting position of never making threats and say, “if you don’t let me brush it, I’ll have it all cut off” but that never got more than an “ok then” and a cheeky grin! So I began to wonder if it might be a good idea. Feeling the way we do about the gendering of small humans, The Viking and I didn’t have any issues with a little girl with short hair and didn’t think it mattered if anyone else did. Perhaps we will stop being halted in the street by well-meaning passers by telling Ayla “Aren’t you a beautiful little princess? You’re gorgeous, and oh, my! what beautiful long curly hair you’ve got”. It doesn’t half annoy me and that’s on a good day.

Why Can’t A Little Girl Be Pretty?

She is pretty, a beautiful child who will no doubt grow up to be one of the most good looking people on the planet (OK, I’m biased) and looks will never be a problem. Self image will be though, as it is for most teenagers but I want them to know that looks are less important than the media may portray. So as the years go by I try to say instead that our children are intelligent, kind, thoughtful, creative, clever, anything but praising them on their looks which they don’t have anything to do with

Ayla always reminded me of the little one in The Help (pictured above) and I worry that white privilidge will stop our children appreciating the things that are easy to take for granted. We talk about the children I worked with in Tanzania while volunteering at a feeding centre in Tabora the year she was conceived but it’s a far concept for a three year old.

So after a recent tantrum with hair brushing I decided to research hair donation and found out how easuy it was to send some to the unfortunately-named Little Princess Trust. They accept hair from all around the world although not afro-caribbean hair because their wig maker isn’t specialised in that hair. I Expected more questions from Ayla but it was easy, no need for pursuasion. When we booked the appointment, Ayla sat sobbing when we said the appointment wasn’t until the next day – it was very exciting.

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On the day, I washed and dried the curls and put them in a low pony tail, plaited it and tied it off with another band. Our hairdresser Charlotte cut the entire thing off and Ayla smiled the whole time. I’m constantly astounded and proud of our little toadbag (my special name for Ayla, like my mum called me – I think it was something she picked up in Canada, I used to love it) and this is the child who thanked the nurse last week for getting “jections”. I try not to boast about the kids too much because it can be hard for parents with PND and depression and mental health issues like me to see boasting online, but I think this little donation deserved a shout out. Sometimes working full time I think of myself as a part time parent but I guess a lot of parents, especially dads, have to work through that. I’m a full time parent who works full time!

Go ahead, tell us below what amazing thing your little humans have done this year!Nic

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